Page 69 - Phonebox Magazine November 2015

Letter from a Minister
Rites of Passage
SAVE THE DATE!
19th December from 10.00 - 11.30am
A search through Newport Pagnell High Street to find the Nativity, culminating in a gift for children, refreshments and carols at the URC Church, starting at 11.15am
For more information about Churches Together in Newport Pagnell look on our website at www.ctnp.org.uk
Rites of passage are used by society to strengthen the community; how many family members do we only see at
weddings or funerals? However these occasions may be just enough to hold the family together.
Rites also provide guidance, reducing stress at times of change. In a funeral we are encouraged to accept the death of someone and reformulate how we relate to them, moving from the physical to the spiritual; so the regular chat is no longer on the phone but may now be with a photo or at a graveside.
Funerals
Traditionally the church funeral service has the comfort of the familiarity of hymns and prayers, but these days, with over threequarters of people opting for a service at the crematorium, things are changing.
A crematorium service can be given by anyone, although it is usually a minister
or civil celebrant. The rite of passage may follow a standard pattern, but the contents can be tailored to suit the family and reflect the deceased’s beliefs. A personal poem might be written by a loved one then read out, or a particular reading given; favourite pieces of music can be incorporated into the service, with a traditional or informal dress code. The tone can be anything from humanist (atheist) through to something more spiritual with hymns or prayers. There are symbols here too, including the coffin with its distinctive shape, the gift of flowers and the memorial plaque.
We all have to go through this rite, but its value may be less for the person involved and more for those left behind, as they take the opportunity to celebrate the life lost and begin to come to terms with the future. Which is why asking for what you want from a civil celebrant can be a comfort.
Naomi Jones, Civil Celebrant. 07496 730769. naomi@heartandsoulcelebrant. co.uk
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Phonebox Magazine 69