Page 65 - Phonebox Magazine February 2014

OK, now I do hope that the Olney Pancake Race Committee took some notice of me in my last article and decided to allow some older runners to take part in the annual jolly as we’ve decided on the sponsorship of the oldest runner in the Pancake Race from the
Olney Drama Club.
I’m not going to do it officially as it would no doubt entail paperwork and red tape which is fear a of mine, so I’ll just give it to the oldest runner at the end of the race as I’m usually there doing the commentary. I think a huge box of chocolates and a nice bottle of something should do the trick and I shall be there to present it, so go on all you oldies, get your forms filled in and I’ll see you there.
I know some of you hate it when I get political, but ho hum, it’s the May Elections soon. In May actually, so here we go. I guess in Milton Keynes there must be some council seats up for grabs as there is a Milton Keynes Question Time at the Chrysalis Theatre, which will be run along the same lines as the BBC do theirs. Local MPs, prospective MPs and some independent people will be on the panel to answer questions from the audience, and guess who is the chairman? It’s me. I think in these politically correct days we’re supposed to refer to whoever is chairing the meeting as ‘The Chair’ so as not to get into
David Pibwoth
sexist territory but I just can’t do it. I have a terrible fit of giggles about it all. I was once at a meeting and asked a question directly to someone and was told to direct my questions through the chair. I leant over and asked my chair the question which seemed to amuse only me, so all I ask is that no-one refers to me as ‘The Chair’.
Labour, Conservative, The Green Party, UKIP, and the Lib Dems will be represented and you, the people represented, and who pay all the money, and get the vote, will be able to fire questions at them with me in the middle as referee. I got the role as I have a genuine distrust of all political parties, but get on personally with everyone regardless of their political persuasion.
I should point out that I’m not writing about this for any personal gain and everyone is coming free of charge.There are no fees paid, and there is no charge for the audience members, so book your tickets quickly as is likely to be well attended as it’s the first Milton Keynes Question Time that has ever been. But hopefully not the last. The panel will be confirmed by the theatre but as the May elections are speeding towards us, I have no doubt that all who have been asked will be there to sell their particular view on how to achieve prosperity for MK and the country.
I do hope someone brings up the reason MK is called a city when it’s a town. I know it’s a relatively small matter, but I am hoping
that we can soon call Olney a city and put up signs for Olney City Centre. I guess the reason for the desperation to call a town a ‘city’ is financially driven otherwise no-one would care but I often think about it when I drive into MK, and I’d just like to know if anyone can change their town to a city. Has MK set a precedent I wonder? I think so and I thereby declare Olney a city.
Now then the city of Olney. I’ve noticed that the parking is getting worse. The old cattle market car park, some time ago it must be said, made it one way in and out, so if you drive in and there is no space, which is often, then you have to back out very dangerously onto the road over a path where many people walk. It’s now got worse as another set of yellow lines appeared where I used to pop my car to nip and get a coffee.
I know the Milton Keynes councillors vast expenses have to be paid for somehow, but clobbering the city of Olney with more parking tickets isn’t the way forward in my opinion.
I do think that there is a green conspiracy in the City of Olney, to stop everyone using cars and something must be done. Perhaps a mention on facebook may be the way forward.
Ah well, see you all soon. I’ll be doing some of the race commentary at The Pancake Day, so maybe bump into you there.
Bye for now.
Pancakes, Politics and Parking
Phonebox Magazine 65
THE CITY