A Selection of Jokes
David Pibworth
o add a new dimension to this column, I am Tnow going to ask you all to enter a competition to send me your funniest joke. I shall print it
and give a little prize out each month.
Next month, I shall give the winner a magic trick. Some of you may have seen me throw a pack of playing cards up in the air and make your chosen card stick to the ceiling occasionally at Costa, as well as various other places. I'll teach the winner how to do it and supply a pack of cards. Then each month coming, I'll print the best joke at the bottom of my column, with a different prize each time.
Jokes are interesting and, as comedy writing is part of my job, I've studied them to some degree, but the thing with jokes and gags is you don't need to look too deeply. If they're funny, they're funny. There's an argument about how far you can go with them, but that's all very subjective and, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing you can't joke about. In fact, very silly jokes are usually the best.
You'll see here I've put some by Tim Vine, who some people say stole his from Tommy Cooper. Not so. He was undoubtedly influenced by Cooper, but Tim Vine is a hugely original comic and most comedians are influenced by someone else. Interestingly, you can't copyright jokes , so they 're up for grabs by anyone. I occasionally have a hand in writing pantomimes and woe betide a writer who tries to change the format of jokes and gags within panto. It's just not on, so it's a lovely job, just researching routines and old jokes by people like Max Miller/Tommy Cooper/Eric Morecambe etc to add into panto.
Also, it's the way you tell them (as said Frank Carson). If you notice children telling jokes , they often 'get' the construction of a joke , well before they understand the actual material you put into them. My daughter got the rhythm of the 'Knock Knock' joke well before the actual
joke. There's a musical quality about a joke.
I wander around our kitchen working out the best way to tell certain jokes and ad libs, and where to leave a pause etc, as my wife will wearily confirm. The art is to make it look like it's the first time you've said it. Morecambe and Wise never ad libbed, which should give you an idea of how important their rehearsal was.
However, enough of all that, here are a few ideas of what we're looking for.
The Silly Jokes
I went to the doctors today and said, "I can't say my F's, T's or H's" and the doctor said, "Well, you can't say fairer than that".
I just met a man called William Hill. What are the odds on that?
The Political Joke
Somebody phones up the Nick Clegg and says, "I'd like a copy of the Lib Dern manifesto please."
Nick says, "I'm sorry but we've sold out."
The caller replies, "I know that, I just want a copy of your manifesto."
The Tommy Cooper Joke
I cleaned out the attic yesterday with the wife. Dirty, dusty, covered in cobwebs.... but she's good with the kids.
The Topical Joke
Jurgen Clopp has ruled himself out for the Manchester United managerial job. However he said his brother, Klipperty, may be interested.
My Joke
I stood at the bus stop having a smoke and was surprised to see the bus leaving before its scheduled time. Funny, I could have sworn I'd put the handbrake on.
Tim Vine Jokes
A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train, so when it happened, he was chuffed to bits.
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job ."
So that's the kind of thing. People say that the art of joke telling has been lost and while I don't agree especially with that, I think it's an art we need to keep encouraging. If any of you have met 'Old Boys' in Olney, you'll no doubt agree that there are still great joke tellers around. In fact, he sent one out on facebook recently:
"It's been terrible weather recently. My missus just sits there looking mournfully through the window. If it gets much worse, I'll have to let her in."
So get them sent in. My email is davidpibworth@googlemail.com. You can send them directly to me and I shall print the best one.
That's all for now folks.
After the sell out 'Fawlty Towers' stage show in March, David is directing Blackadder at the Chrysalis Theatre in September. Details are at www.mktoc.co.uk.
He is directing and appearing as an Ugly Sister in Cinderella at the Medina Theatre, Isle of Wight, at the end of the year too.
David is available for his talk on the History of British Situation Comedy. Please contact the office on (01234) 241357, or email the above address.
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