Page 70 - Phonebox Magazine September 2015

What A Farce!
As you may know I like a little flutter on politics. Not caring who gets in certainly gives you a splendid advantage on these
matters.
I put a bet on the Tories winning the last general election, not because I wanted them to win, but because my research told me that they would. That’s chatting to normal people as against listening to the polls and news papers, who try to copy what I do but with less success. I got 9/1 on a Tory victory because a broad spectrum of people I chatted to told me that they didn’t like Ed Miliband much, and the people I spoke to, I knew, rather than pulled them off the street to carry out a survey and I know lots of people with different views.
I am now kicking myself over not putting a fiver on Jeremy Corbyn to become the new Labour leader. When he joined the fray in May, the bookies put him on at 100/1, a price unheard of normally. I didn’t do much research and didn’t chat to anyone and nearly put a fiver on just for fun but then thought that I could probably find better ways of spending five pounds. I just didn’t
think he’d win. I quite like Jeremy Corbyn, as I’m drawn to eccentrics. However like most eccentric friendships there’s a line to be drawn. You can have a laugh with them, but wouldn’t want them helping you run a booze up in a brewery, let alone a political party. So I didn’t go with it. I thought one of the
others would win – and indeed they still could – although it looks unlikely as they are running such lacklustre campaigns. If one of the others does win I’ll feel up on the deal as I’ve kept my fiver, but there’s no doubt that I’m a bit miffed about losing the chance. Once Blair and ‘Cheerful Charlie’ Brown had come spinning in against Jeremy you knew it would antagonize people into voting for JC, so he had it in the bag, but the odds from the bookies were gone. I think Blair and Brown had their money on JC at 100/1 before they made their comments. They may be utterly ghastly but they’re not idiots.
This does make the next election a bit of a pushover for the Tories, which is a shame as it isn’t half as much fun. Labour will get hammered, then fart about for months electing a new leader, and they’ll end up with Chuka Umunna as leader, who would have won the contest in the first place if he’d have stood. Then it’ll all be back to normal again. We don’t have too long to wait anyway and we’ll know who wins on the 12th September, so get ready to celebrate/commiserate by coming to Fawlty Towers, which I’m directing for the MK Theatre of Comedy. It’s the 14th
Brought to you by
14 - 19 September 2015
Chrysalis Theatre, Milton Keynes MK15 9JY
MKTOC open the doors of Torquay’s worst hotel for the last three episodes!
We’ve previously staged nine of the twelve episodes of this classic comedy
- come along with us for the final three tales from the most dysfunctional hotel in Britain...
Episodes written by John Cleese and Connie Booth, produced by arrangement with Samuel French
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Info & Box Office: www.mktoc.co.uk
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70 Phonebox Magazine
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Photography: Kevin Viney