Page 72 - Phonebox Magazine November 2015

David Pibworth
Aman comes home late one night and finds his house being burgled by two masked men. He gets on his mobile and phones the police to tell them that it’s actually happening now and if they come over they will catch them red handed.
The police inform him that they don’t have enough resources to send anyone. He phones back a minute later and says “Don’t worry about that burglary I just reported as I’ve shot both of them, so there’s no rush.”
Within two minutes the police are there, with six cars, sirens wailing, the burglars rush out, slap bang into the arms of the police and are arrested.
The police chief walks up to the man and says, “I thought you told us that you’d shot them.” And the man says, “I thought you told me you didn’t have enough resources to send anyone out.”
And so the question of resources of the police come up again.
Now then, on facebook, a very interesting discussion came up about the use of police resources and the various views and arguments on either side.
It started with someone (not me) mentioning that six police cars were at the Emberton layby and was this a good use of resources given the fierce Tory cutbacks on the police? Fair question, as there’s no doubt that the Tories are cutting money for the police and expecting them to fight crime.
Someone asked what was going on with all the police cars there and another chipped in and gave two totally false reasons for them being there, both serious, and indeed so serious that everyone knew they weren’t true otherwise it would be on the news. There are some strange coves about on facebook.
It seemed to be the opinion that they were just pulling in random cars. Then came some defense for the police. Do we want them, or not? They are paid peanuts for risking their lives, said one. (I think it depends on how much you earn yourself if you think their wages are peanuts, as most constables are on around £30k after four years service I’m told, and Sergeants around £40k).
Then more defense by someone serving in the force, all fair comments about it being very difficult to get to everyone who needs the police. True enough, but I think this boils down to use of resources again. Then someone made a joke about intelligence and police not being something you see together much and was roundly rollocked by a police supporter. It was clearly a joke, and quite a good one at that (although I heard Michael Foot use it in about 1980 when he said “It’s a contradiction in terms – like Military Intelligence” but he’d nicked if from Grouch Marx). But some people do foam at the mouth in fury on facebook. Which is partly why I like it.
Then it got serious for a minute or two and then there was a discussion about the look outs – police spotters – who hide in the bushes with their walkie talkies to spot the offenders. There was even one disguised as a cyclist with a puncture halfway down the bypass – allegedly. It reminded me of the days when my friends and I used to play ‘Spot The Store Detective’ in EP Roses in Bedford. (Anyone else remember EP Roses?) Then a few more jokes, and then some “How dare you critisise the police, you youngsters don’t know how good you have it...” comments. Then it lapsed into a discussion about the layby. Which, incidentally, I thought was temporarily closed but turns out that it’s permanently closed. That’s due to...oh I don’t know...lorry drivers using it to kip for the night...handbag thefts from cars parked there...dangerous access
BODYCRAFT Accident Repair Centre
So how much do our repairs cost?
We can often repair your vehicle for less than your insurance excess
✔ Bumper Scuffs
✔ Paint Scratches
✔ Kerbed Alloys
✔ Minor & major dents
✔ Airbag diagnostics
Local Family Run Business
✔ Insurance and private work
✔ Loan car available (collection and
delivery service available)
✔ Claims management service
✔ Dash cams from £99.99
Polite, Friendly & Informed
01604 696104
Janlin Complex, Northampton Road, Warrington, Olney, Bucks MK46 4HW
Open Monday to Friday 9.15am - 3pm Saturday 8am - Midday
72 Phonebox Magazine